Nothing Smells Quite Like Your Own Singed Arm Hair. Also, Goodbye.

Okay, so it's been over a month since I last posted. I've been busy and generally awful about updating this blog. More on that in a minute.

Yesterday we had an "all-hall" program during which we cooked burgers and hot dogs and I volunteered to be a chef. While prepping my grill, I lifted the lid a wee prematurely; I thought the lighter fluid had all burned off and closed the lid to increase the heat. This is the kind of grill with a lid that hinges at the back, so in the process of lifting the lid your arm naturally stretches out over the top of the grilling surface. As I did so, there was a minor explosion which promptly engulfed my forearm. "Explosion" is perhaps too dramatic - it was just a quick flare up that resulted in my arm smoldering for a few seconds like those cartoons where a bomb goes off in a bad guy's face. The skin itself is fine, but the hair on my right arm is significantly shorter than the hair on my left.

After cooking burgers for an hour or so I got hungry, so I naturally ate a couple of burgers - and I usually avoid red meat. Within half an hour I was feeling acute G.I. issues and headed back to my room, where I lapsed into delirium for several hours (I'd missed my coffee that morning and had had a vicious headache to boot).

Woke up at 9ish and talked to K for a while; fell asleep and woke up at 2am in my clothes. This morning I felt completely fine.

I'll be shutting this blog down soon. I've never liked this blog very much at all; its name, layout, and sheer existence has bugged me pretty much since day 1. I'll start another one just as soon as I feel like I can dedicate the time and effort to updating. So long, suckers.

Oh the Pain!

My beloved Fighting Illini lost to Washington yesterday, and I still haven't recovered.

Back on the Sauce

Yours truly found himself in the breakroom last week with a headache and plum out of tea. What's a man to do? Why, head for the coffeepot and stained mug left by a random stranger eons ago. And so I'm drinking coffee again.

It's Spring Break, but you wouldn't know it by the weather. The plan had been to hang out in Steamboat Springs for the first half of break and then head back home for the second half (although Spring Break is in effect for both Job A and Job B, Job B requires my presence during the second half of the week). While I was busy falling off the wagon, however, Willie was busy having quite possibly the worst week of anyone I've ever known, short of truly tragic things like death.

So I came down to K's place in Denver instead, which has worked out fine. All roads to Steamboat Springs have been walloped by snow, and overnight I-70 turned into a speedskater's dream. Instead of navigating that crap, K and I have spent quality time watching basketball and baking cookies. We also got to hang out with her family, some of whom live here, and some of whom came down to Denver to pick up a truck for their place in Wyoming. REI, meals, flak about The West Wing, a sappy romantic comedy that made K cry - good times all around.

K's at work right now; I'm sitting around the apartment reading, surfing, and fending off a wicked case of cabin fever. Soon we'll have lunch at a Mexican place a block or two from her apartment which, incidentally, is supposed to have amazing chile rellenos. The weather's clearing as I write this, and according to the news the roads are improving hourly. I'm heading back home tomorrow morning after a great start to the break.

"And the nominees are..."

At some point soon, this blog will get a facelift. Meantime, here's what's up in my life:

I think I passed the certification exam, but I won't know for sure for another four weeks. And even if I didn't pass, I can take it again.

On Friday I sent off applications, resumes, and cover letters to some folks in a cool town in which I'd really like to work. On Saturday I realized I had a minor typo in each cover letter – hackmarks on each "e" in "resume" instead of on the last "e" only. Crap. But that's kind of how my life goes.

Last night a local movie theatre let college students in for free with their IDs, so a bunch of RAs went to UltraViolet, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. The movie was bad. Really, really bad. And it would have been worse without the booze we snuck in. Although I do think Milla Jovovich deserves a nomination for "Best Ass in a Science Fiction Film," a category added to the Oscars ever since Carrie Ann Moss's ass's performance in The Matrix.

At 11 or so, we headed up into the mountains for a bonfire. After collecting some rather large chunks of wood and staring at the fire I wandered off into a clearing. It was very cold and clear last night, and lying on my back in the snow, smoking a Cuban cigar, I saw more stars than I've ever seen in my life. It was one of those profound moments that each of us should experience more often. Weirder still, we were precisely 11 minutes from our dorm parking lot.

Today I have more job hunt stuff to work on, then a desk shift, and a ton of prep to do for this week. I can't wait until Friday, when I head to Steamboat to spend a long weekend with K at Willie's place.

Busy. Really Amazingly Busy.

Rumor has it this blog might receive a brand new masthead soon, in which case yours truly should probably start writing more. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Ultimately I really don’t have a whole lot I can write about these days. So instead of funny stories about my life, how about a preview of the coming week?

Friday, 7:15am to 3:05pm – a half day at my new job (henceforth “Job A”). Well, a half day for the younger crowd anyway. We older folks have a half day with the younger crowd and then a full day … in a great big meeting! Yeah! Wooooooo!

Friday, 3:06pm – Drive to K’s place in Denver.

Saturday – Buy a suit, buy a portfolio that’s all professional-looking and shit, hang out with K. Study for licensure exam.

Sunday – Return home. Work at Job B from 4-6. Continue studying for licensure exam.

Monday – Job A until 4. Job B until 8. Study for licensure exam.

Tuesday – Job A until 4. Study for licensure exam. Job B from 8-10.

Wednesday – Job A until 4. Study for licensure exam.

Thursday – Job A until 4. Job B from 6-10. Study for licensure exam, somehow, while at Job B.

Friday – I might take Friday off from Job A to … you guessed it… study for licensure exam.

Saturday – Take licensure exam. Turn attention to job hunt.

Oh, and while all this is going on, I also have to prepare daily activities and stuff for Job A, write up some assignments related to Job A for my advisor, and get all my job-hunt-related stuff together, which is nowhere near ready to be presented in an interview. Ugh.

On Yelling

Folks, it's been a hell of a few weeks. The new job is keeping me busier than a bunny in spring, and the old job, the job I have come to hate but cannot quit, has added a new dimension of stress. Perhaps that's why I yelled at someone this morning.

RA's cannot plan on anything. This is because RA's, by definition, have residents under their charge, and dormitory residents aren't exactly the most docile bunch. So this morning, when I was just about to take a small nibble out of a mountain of errands, one of my residents made me, as we used to say at Amazon, "lose my shit."

We here on 6th floor, the top floor of the building, expect a quiet living environment. The folks on 5th floor don't necessarily see things that way. Sometimes my floor, especially my guys' wing, reports noise complaints on the stereos, TV's, and power tools being used on the floor below us. Sometimes those complaints are valid, sometimes they're not. Negotiating that validity is one of the hardest aspects of the RA job.

One of my residents - we'll call him Daniel – is the Jungian archetype of "computer geek." Remarkably obese, disgustingly hairy, and 37 years old, Daniel has lived in the dorms for 6 years. No one knows what degree, exactly, Daniel is pursuing. No one, in fact, is really sure what he does with his day. The one thing everyone can agree upon, however, is that Daniel is the single most annoying person in the hall, if not on the planet.

You don't hold a conversation with Daniel, you endure one. When he's not chortling at his own jokes, he's sharing is encyclopedic knowledge of whatever it is you're talking about. Daniel needs power. Daniel needs to tell people how to do their job, and in my case, his lengthy experience as a security guard lends special insight into the more investigative parts of the RA gig. Not that there are many investigative parts of the RA gig.

He has a cadre of friends, all non-trads, all overweight, and all are probably Lord of the Rings fans. One of them, a female resident on my floor, often communicates exclusively by meowing.

I refer to them as the Know It Alls, or "K.I.A.'s" for short. I avoid them when possible, but as a staffer, that's not always possible.

There is a long and complicated back story leading up to my yelling this morning, but that's far less important than the fact that I realized something about myself: when I'm speaking with any authority, I don't like to be interrupted. And the fact of the matter is, the kids at my new job are remarkably good at listening to me and quieting down when I need them to, while the K.I.A.'s generally and Daniel specifically are not. My new job is stressful but fun, whereas the RA job is just a total pain in the ass.

So when I confronted Daniel about him sticking his snout somewhere it shouldn't have been, and when Daniel interrupted me, I just totally lost it. My door is separated from each wing by a fire door, but I really wouldn't be surprised if other residents heard me ripping into Daniel. No profanity; no personal attacks. Just an extremely irritated RA who'd had it with people who think they know my job better than I do.

Nothing to See Here

Seriously. I feel like I should update because, well, I know at least two people check this blog fairly regularly. But honestly, nothing too exciting happened in my life this week - nothing that I can write about here, anyway.

So.

What are you up to today?