On Yelling

Folks, it's been a hell of a few weeks. The new job is keeping me busier than a bunny in spring, and the old job, the job I have come to hate but cannot quit, has added a new dimension of stress. Perhaps that's why I yelled at someone this morning.

RA's cannot plan on anything. This is because RA's, by definition, have residents under their charge, and dormitory residents aren't exactly the most docile bunch. So this morning, when I was just about to take a small nibble out of a mountain of errands, one of my residents made me, as we used to say at Amazon, "lose my shit."

We here on 6th floor, the top floor of the building, expect a quiet living environment. The folks on 5th floor don't necessarily see things that way. Sometimes my floor, especially my guys' wing, reports noise complaints on the stereos, TV's, and power tools being used on the floor below us. Sometimes those complaints are valid, sometimes they're not. Negotiating that validity is one of the hardest aspects of the RA job.

One of my residents - we'll call him Daniel – is the Jungian archetype of "computer geek." Remarkably obese, disgustingly hairy, and 37 years old, Daniel has lived in the dorms for 6 years. No one knows what degree, exactly, Daniel is pursuing. No one, in fact, is really sure what he does with his day. The one thing everyone can agree upon, however, is that Daniel is the single most annoying person in the hall, if not on the planet.

You don't hold a conversation with Daniel, you endure one. When he's not chortling at his own jokes, he's sharing is encyclopedic knowledge of whatever it is you're talking about. Daniel needs power. Daniel needs to tell people how to do their job, and in my case, his lengthy experience as a security guard lends special insight into the more investigative parts of the RA gig. Not that there are many investigative parts of the RA gig.

He has a cadre of friends, all non-trads, all overweight, and all are probably Lord of the Rings fans. One of them, a female resident on my floor, often communicates exclusively by meowing.

I refer to them as the Know It Alls, or "K.I.A.'s" for short. I avoid them when possible, but as a staffer, that's not always possible.

There is a long and complicated back story leading up to my yelling this morning, but that's far less important than the fact that I realized something about myself: when I'm speaking with any authority, I don't like to be interrupted. And the fact of the matter is, the kids at my new job are remarkably good at listening to me and quieting down when I need them to, while the K.I.A.'s generally and Daniel specifically are not. My new job is stressful but fun, whereas the RA job is just a total pain in the ass.

So when I confronted Daniel about him sticking his snout somewhere it shouldn't have been, and when Daniel interrupted me, I just totally lost it. My door is separated from each wing by a fire door, but I really wouldn't be surprised if other residents heard me ripping into Daniel. No profanity; no personal attacks. Just an extremely irritated RA who'd had it with people who think they know my job better than I do.